DOE jokes
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Tiles.
WTF did you think he’d tile it with?
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
Why does America suck at chess?
They lost two towers.
How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
Why do orphans love Oreos?
Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"
What does a cloud wear in a storm?
Thunderwear.
Why does an orphan love baseball? Because their ball comes back, get pranked, bitch!