DOE jokes
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
What part of a computer system does an orphan not have?
A motherboard.
A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.
Demon: Why you sad?
Guy: I’m in hell, can’t you see?
Demon: Well, we have fun here at hell.
Guy: Really? Nice.
Demon: We do sleeping in on Mondays.
Guy: OoOoOo
Demon: Tuesdays we swim in our lava or dive in fire. If you die, you’re already dead ☠️
Guy: Ok, does that mean I’m a ghost?
Demon: No, you're not a ghost.
Demon: Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺
Guy: Ooooooo, I can’t wait 😜
Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die, and you're already dead, remember that?
Guy: Ok, but I am dead, and if I die again, I was already dead, right?
Demon: Yup.
Demon: I have a question: Are you gay, and do you like kissing fire girls, and if you die, you are already dead?
Guy: Ummm, I am not gay, and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱
Demon: Then you won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday, heheh.
Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell 🪦🏴☠️☠️☠️💀
Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now.
Why does the orphan can’t write a single word or sentence?
Because the orphan is dumber.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why does the Tower of Pisa lean?
Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?
What is the craziest thing an Indian man does for sex?
Marriage.
What does Hitler's partner say when he begins?
"Hindin!"
What does an Emo do with his friends?
Literally hanging out.
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.