DOE jokes
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
What store does an orphan hate?
Family Tree.
What does McDonald's and priests have in common?
They put their meat inside 10 year olds.
How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an Emo?
The Emo hangs himself.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
Why does an orphan go to church?
So it has someone to call father.
What does an apple and an orphan have in common?
One gets picked.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!