DOE jokes

What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?

Raisin' kids.

What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?

Mourning wood.

She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.

How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?

The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?

Because he’s a hoot.

Why does the paper follow up with wine because it was junk? Do wrong, so wrong that you don’t even exist because nobody even eats it. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Haha ha ha! Haha ha haha ha ha! Ha hah hah hah ha!

Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?

What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?

They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."

Why does the ice cream have so many friends?

Because he’s cool.

What does a bird say when it gets sick?

I flu!

Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.

What do a politician and a minister have in common?

Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.

What do the initials BIBLE stand for?

Bull In Book Lacking Evidence

What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common?

A blowjob is anonymous.

Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?

Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.

If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?

Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?

Because it's male bonding.

What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?

Head & Shoulders.

What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?

They both got a 10% survival rate...