What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
DOE Jokes
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common?
A blowjob is anonymous.
Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?
Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.
If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?
Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?
Because it's male bonding.
What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?
Head & Shoulders.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
So, three guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank.
The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man.
The second one goes for his uncle's vault because screw that son of a b***h; he’s rich, why does he need all the money? But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephew's neck.
The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought, “Well, that b***h can suck my d**k; she’s so poor anyway, who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness?” So he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day, the third guy's ex showed up to his house and said, “I’m gonna f*****g murder you,” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house.
In hell, the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked, “You know, I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house, why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said, “B***h, I don’t know, maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already.”
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
What does one piece of toilet paper say to the other?
"I'm wiped!"
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.
