DOE jokes
Bully: "You are so stupid!"
Classmate: does nothing.
Bully: "Oi, I'm talking to you!"
Classmate: "Oh, you're talking to me? I thought you were talking to yourself."
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.
A fact! I think I'm officially a poo-buster, as the plunger does look like the weapon in "Ghostbusters"!
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
What vehicle does a frog 🐸 drive?
The Beetle!
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
Why does Oscar Field have no friends? Because he spends time on his fields.
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
Why does the Catholic Church have a glory hole inside the confessional booth?
So a priest can give an anonymous blowjob to another bisexual man, or a gay man, or a heterosexual man that has a big dick after the priest hears their confession.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob?
The gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole.
What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.