DOE jokes
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
Why does Mario eat mushrooms?
Because he's a very fungi!
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
What does a pillow say when you live for a week? "Don't forget me!"
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
Why does Job have an Area 51 head? Because his head is the shape of a 🦖.
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.
What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.
A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, "Dad, how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big dick?"
Her father replied, "Honey, you should have watched me last night. It was inside my mouth. Does it cycle now?"