DOE jokes
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 1 to actually change the light bulb and the other 98 to suck each others' cocks and shit like that.
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
How much cum does a gay guy have?
An ass loaded.
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
What is a nut that does magic?
A human that can turn into a nut!
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
How hard can you throw them!
What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?
Long sleeves.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
What is a dog that does not walk? A magic dog.
Why does NASA only serve Coke?
Because they can't get Seven-Up!
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?
He cracked up!
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?
On a website.
What is a cow that does magic?
A smart cow.