DOE jokes
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
What does the fox say?
"Fuck" "FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck Fuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck Fuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck
Fuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck Fuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck Fuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
There is a young lady.
She is beautiful.
She got much vote.
But she speaks very fast.
Does she think she looks smart doing that?
She makes me feel bad.
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
8 jelly tickles!
How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"