Distance jokes

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.

Your hairline is so far back it took a trip to America.

You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

Your hairline is in a different area code.

Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can.

Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance. Misses a pen From close distance.

Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!

Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.

Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.

Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.

Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.

Your hairline is so far back that it would be a 70 mile trip to the back.

Someday you'll go far.

Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.

"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"

I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.

Yo mama so far, she makes the Statue of Freedom look like a 6-inch action figure.

Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Her: Awww... Yes!!!

Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.

Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!

"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"

Covid said to stay 6 feet... I didn't think Kobe meant it literally.