Distance jokes

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.

Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!

Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.

Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.

What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?

Your hairline.

Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.

Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.

Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school?

Because he’s dead.

Your hairline is pushed back farther than G.T.A. 6.

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.

Your hairline is so close to Earth, it's 100 million lightyears away!

Why can't Michael Jackson come within 500 meters of a school?

Because he's dead. 😁

Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.

Your hairline is so far back I need binoculars to see it!

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.

Friend: What are you doing?

Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.

Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.

You're so fat that when you went outside, you broke the 2-meter rule for COVID.