Disease jokes

What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?

Dark humor never dies!

What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.

Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.

Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.

I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.

I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...

He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"

What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.

What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.

James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.

The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...

Wait, where are we again?

Last year, I got kicked out of the Hospital for telling COVID patients to stay positive!

What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?

The HIV test results.

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.

Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?

Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.

If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).

What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!

What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?

A child with epilepsy.

Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!

Why do orphans die so much?

'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."