Disease jokes
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
He's in a wheelchair.
What’s the world’s most diseased country?
GerMany.
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas? AIDS.
Could it be ligma?
Ligma balls, daddy!
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His left shoulder.
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
Cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already at stage four!
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
Time heals all wounds. Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
Stand? Wait. No.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.