Disease jokes
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."
"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"
Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"
The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."
"What the FU***** SH**"
Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
Grandma, I can’t believe I have Alzheimer’s.
One second later, Well at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
Where did the chef put the disease?
In Ebola.
Man, cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!
Read this and you're gay.
Depression has been entered into your body.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
I wish Stephen Hawking could've just walked—oh wait, never mind.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.