Disease jokes
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!
Read this and you're gay.
Depression has been entered into your body.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
I wish Stephen Hawking could've just walked—oh wait, never mind.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!
So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"
The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"
Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!
So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"
So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
Cancer is the best thing ever! Hahah, fuck all you cancer patients!
Fuck, my dad has cancer, lol.
What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?
A quarter-pounder with cheese.
Q: Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone?
A: He has turrets.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?
Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.
Carys’s mum has chemo.
Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.
Like and comment if you get it!
My wife is not only gone like gonorrhea, she is also gone because of my (and now her) gonorrhea.