Disease jokes
For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!
You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.
What's long and not very hairy?
The conga line at the cancer department.
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My mom did beat cancer.
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."
Yo mama's so fat, she even studied for the corona test.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer... no stage 5.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
What do Africans eat for breakfast?
E-bola Cornflakes.
What did the doctor say to the orphan?
"I can't help you with cancer, I'm a family doctor!"
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."