Disaster jokes
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?
They both fell on my dad.
Knock, knock.
“Who's there?”
“The Twin Towers.”
“The Twin Towers who?”
“I thought you'd never forget.”
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.
It didn't land well.
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
I wrote a joke on MH370… but I don’t know where it went.
When there’s an earthquake, coffins become underground maracas.
What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not the two Twin Towers.
What's the Twin Towers' favorite type of transport?
Planes.
Victims of 9/11 are the fastest readers. They went through 94 stories in seconds.
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)
Why are planes the most dangerous killers?
Because they killed 2,996 people in 10-25 minutes.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
You're so fat, you caused the Titanic to sink!