Disappearance Jokes

A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.

So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.

The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.

A gay wizard went to a bar and disappeared with a poof!

There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.

What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?

Panera Fade.

The image is a flow chart titled "Marvel Viewing Order." It includes a mix of Marvel movies and other films, shows, and people, including Captain America, Captain Marvel, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Iron Man 2, Avengers, Iron Man 3, Chicken Run, Age of Empires IV, How I Met Your Mother, Boss Baby, Looney Tunes Back in Action, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Disappearance of Madeleine McCann, Scooby-Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, Summer Heights High, Lego Indiana Jones 2 The Adventure Continues, The Cat in the Hat, Ted Cruz, and Avengers Endgame.

I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.

I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.

Why do orphans eat cereal with milk?

Because their dad never came back with the milk.

People go to places to see Harry Potter live, but you can just go to the abortion place and see something disappear.

When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.

My Dad went for some milk. He never came back :)

MISSING!!

Name: Ghostiano Penaldo

Missing: 27/6/2021 vs Belgium

Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".

Last found - Practicing tap ins.

Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parma, Crotone.

Might be dangerous towards good players.

MISSING!! MISSING!! ⚠️⚠️

Name: Kylian Fraudbappe Missing: 28/6/2021 vs Switzerland Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".

Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parc des Princes, Paris.

Last seen: Manuel Akanji’s back pocket.

My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due to his skill in disappearing.

Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.

Walk The Dinosaur-By watersharky Productions and Was(Not Was)-

Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

It was a night like this forty million years ago I lit a cigarette, picked up a monkey skull to go The sun was spitting fire, the sky was blue as ice I felt a little tired, so I watched Miami Vice And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur

I met you in a cave, you were painting buffalo I said I'd be your slave, follow wherever you go That night we split a rattlesnake and danced beneath the stars You fell asleep, I stayed awake and watched the passing cars And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur

One night I dreamed of New York You and I roasting blue pork In the Statue of Liberty's torch Elvis landed in a rocket ship Healed a couple of leapers and disappeared But where was his beard?

A shadow from the sky much too big to be a bird A screaming crashing noise louder than I've ever heard It looked like two big silver trees that somehow learned to soar Suddenly a summer breeze and a mighty lion's roar I killed the dinosaur, I killed the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur

Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared.

A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.

I don't know, my friend did it.

My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.