Disappearance Jokes

Why are Japanese always so skinny?

Cause last time there was a fat man an entire city disappeared

Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night she’s back in bed

what is an orphans dads job a magician because he makes him self disappear.

There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear. Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him. Go on, so what did you do with ship them?

There was a mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three. 1-2-..... and he left without a trace.

Kid: Dad where are you going

Dad: To get milk

TEN YEARS LATER

Kids friend: wheres your dad

Kid: he went to get milk but never came back

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.

He never came back

I think my dads gay bc he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"

What is the difference between harry houdini and everyone else in my life, harry was the only person not to disappear

I make weed disappear, what's your super power?

I was born and raised in Newcastle. My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, 'uno, dos...' and poof. He disappears without a tres."

Mother: Jack, I have good news and some bad news, which would you like to hear first? Jack: Bad News first Mother: I'm dying! Jack: Mother, I said bad news first. Mother: *cries* Jack was never seen again.