Disappearance jokes

I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?

What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman?

Batman returns.

What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.

Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.

I was born and raised in Newcastle.

My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

Why are all Asians so skinny?

Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.

Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...

Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.

What does my dad have in common with Nemo?

They both can’t be found.

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.

What does Nemo have in common with my dad?

They both can't be found.

Mother: Jack, I have good news and some bad news, which would you like to hear first?

Jack: Bad News first.

Mother: I'm dying!

Jack: Mother, I said bad news first.

Mother: *cries*

Jack was never seen again.

What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?

Madeline McCann's bike.

Where did Amy go after the explosion?

Everywhere.

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.