What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? – Vegetable soup.

What’s the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody’s looking, you slip in the disabled one

What is black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?

A baked potato.

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu

I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! after all, they can’t even stand up for themselves

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. “What happened to your face?” I asked.

“I’m a Paralympian,” he replied.


“No, … hurdles.”

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A school bus full of disabled children

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? – Meals on wheels.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder’s new piano?

Neither has he.

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn’t see that well.

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?


In my spare time I help blind children. – I mean the verb, not the adjective.

I just found out I’m colorblind. It came out of the yellow.

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him: Wife: why is your face all bloody? Husband: I was so drunk that I couldn’t stand up so I kept falling on my face! Wife: idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? – The wheelchair.

How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled? The wheelchair floats to the top

Where can you find some of the world’s largest vegetables? – In an American nursing home.

Why don’t blind people skydive? – Because it scares their dogs too much!