What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?

A paintball

What does DNA stand for? National dyslexic assosiation

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same. The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr Independent and isists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair’s getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run

I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.

So a blind man walks into a bar.

At least he thinks so.

Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms? Because he told the man to put his hands up

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

You can keep the tip.

I’ve just started reading my first ever Braille horror story and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.

Why did the one handed man cross the road?

To get to the second hand store!

Why did the carrot roll down the hill? Because he couldn’t stop his wheelchair

I knocked on Stephen Hawkins door but nobody answered…

All I got was “error 404 page not found”

What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?

Nothing.

How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?

Cancer.

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all they can’t stand up for themselves

Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.

Why did annie fall from the swing

Because she had no hands

Knock knock “Who’s there” Not annie

What is the first thing the disabled download on ITunes? They see me rolling, they hatin

What do you call a person with down syndrome in a bath tub?

Vegetable soup

Why did the legless kid think he won a race?

Because everybody already left.

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