Disabled jokes

What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?

A paintball.

Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!

you.

What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?

The wheelchair.

What is a gay person’s favourite meal?

Willy con carne.

Women's rights.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.

Me: Guess who came crawling right back?

Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?

A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.

There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.

I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.

Where do people with no legs go to have fun?

Legnoland.

My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.

We all yelled "Rocket league!"

My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!

I ran over three disabled kids.

"Cripple kill."

A girl named Sally has no arms.

"KNOCK KNOCK"

She never answered...

I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.

So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.

I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.

Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.

What is the worst comedy for disabled people?

Stand-up comedy!

How does a disabled kid walk to school?

He wishes he had the facilities to.