Disabled jokes
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
Why did the carrot roll down the hill?
Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
My friend told me to name a country in Africa.
So I said, "Hungry."
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.
What do you call a bunch of microcephalics in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
Why do people eat food?
Coz it tastes good lol.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.