Disabled jokes
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Who here plays blox fruits?
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.