Disabled jokes

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?

Neither has he.

I put the sexy in dyslexia.

If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.

Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.

I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.

When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

My friend and I were walking down the street, and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by three other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help. He had no chance against the five of us.

What is black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.

In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.

What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?

"They see me rolling, they hatin'."

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:

Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"

Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"

Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"

What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?

Wheelchair.

What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?

Head & Shoulders.

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn't see that well.

I just found out I'm colorblind. It came out of the yellow.

I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"