Disability jokes

Cripple

Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"

People

Why did people bully Steven Hawking?

Because he couldn't stand up for himself.

Tour

I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."

Eye

Why are you so tired if you can’t see? Because you are blind.

Voice

Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?

Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.

Helen Keller

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.

Guy

What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?

"Hi-five!"

Dad

My disabled dad went to the grocery store.

He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.

Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.

Steak

What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?

"Just ate a tasty steak!"