Disability jokes
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs? Nice boobs!
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
God: “Stephen, join us!”
*sees the staircase to heaven.*
Stephen: “Shit!”
So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.