Disability jokes
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
What do you call a deaf person?
Whatever you want!
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
What do you call Autistic kids baking?
"Downies" with brownies.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
My name is Bishal Khan and I can't walk.
Why does a blind man still have eyes?
So he can see that he can't see.
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
Why are Liverpool not disabled friendly?
They never walk alone.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
Helen Keller walked into a bar...
And into a table, and into a chair.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.