Disability jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Disabled.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?
Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.