Disability jokes
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.
(She's blind and deaf)
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
What’s the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable? The wheelchair.
What do you call a disabled Asian?
"Sum ting wong."
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she is a girl.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
God: “Stephen, join us!”
*sees the staircase to heaven.*
Stephen: “Shit!”