Disability jokes

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

Why did God build a stairway to heaven?

So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.

What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?

What do you call a cut cucumber?

A guy with no legs.

What do you call a disabled Chinese person?

Sum Ting Wong.

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."

So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.

I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"

What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.

What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?

Cash and carry.

Why did Steven Hawking die?

He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.

So a blind man walks into a bar.

At least he thinks so.

People say I should be proud of my autism, but truth be told, I'm only in it for the help in class.

Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?

... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.

Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.

Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?

From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.

I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?