Disability jokes
So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
People say I should be proud of my autism, but truth be told, I'm only in it for the help in class.
Memes
Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?
... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
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