Disability jokes

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

What do you call a disabled Chinese person?

Sum Ting Wong.

What do you call a cut cucumber?

A guy with no legs.

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.

Why did God build a stairway to heaven?

So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."

So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.

I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"

What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

So a blind man walks into a bar.

At least he thinks so.

Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?

... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.

People say I should be proud of my autism, but truth be told, I'm only in it for the help in class.

Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?

From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.

I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?

You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.

Why did Steven Hawking die?

He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?

Because it was disabled.