Disability jokes
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
Memes
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Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.