Disability jokes
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?
... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.
People say I should be proud of my autism, but truth be told, I'm only in it for the help in class.