Disability jokes
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
Stephen Hawking's death was completely accidental.
He pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep".
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
What do u call a Chinese man with one leg?
Tie-wan-sho.