What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
Disability Jokes
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
I once told a blind orphan, "Hey, look at the bright side!"
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him for a drag.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He lost WiFi connection.
Q: What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
A: Putting them back in their wheelchair.
If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:
"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
"Rueben Glover is a Steven Hawking spastic."
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs? Nice boobs!
