Disability jokes
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?
Hot Wheels.
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
It's true, you know. Stephen Hawking has been up more ramps than Evel Knievel.
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?
Because she had no arms.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
What do you call a hot tub full of special ed students?
Vegetable Soup.