Disability jokes
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
Stephen Hawking's death was completely accidental.
He pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep".
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.
Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.
And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Disabled.
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"
My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.
Have a guess who came crawling back?
Handicapped jokes are so cruel.
I can't stand them!
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?
Suck a big cock.
My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.