Disability jokes
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
Stephen Hawking's last words were the Windows closing sound.
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?
A: Names.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
What’s the hardest part to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Have they tried switching him off and on again?
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