Disability jokes
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No? Neither did he.
What do Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie have in common?
What position would a man with no legs and arms play in baseball?
Home base.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a pet monkey?
No.
Neither did she.
Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!
I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.
Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.
This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...
Me: Knock Knock
Her:
I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.