Disability jokes
What position would a man with no legs and arms play in baseball?
Home base.
I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.
Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They put a plunger in the toilet.
Q: How many kids did Helen Keller have? A: None, the plunger went all the way up.
Stephen Hawking is the real Slim Shady... but he can’t stand up ☹️
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
When is the last time you picked up the phone?
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
Hint: he didn’t.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
*Windows turning off*
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.
Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."
Why did Stephen Hawking walk across the road? Oh wait...
Did you ever walk into Stephen Hawking's house?
Answer: No, neither did he.
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Oh wait, he didn't.