Disability jokes
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?
Vegetable soup.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.