Disability jokes
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What's the difference between Cain Dashiell and Down syndrome?
Nothing.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.