Disability jokes
I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."
What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?
"They see me rolling, they hatin'."
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
What is a group of disabled people in a coma called?
A salad.
Why does Stephen Hawking always say he's got so many bitches?
Because he is never around Siri.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and the counter.
Why do disabled people get picked on so much?
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car? IHOP
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.