Disability jokes
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football? Because he got all the downs.
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
You leave the plunger in the toilet.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
How did Steven Hawking die? His WiFi disconnected.
What do you call an ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner.
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.
Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."
He lost Wifi connection...