New Disability Jokes - Page 60

I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.

What did Stephen Hawking love that couldn't move?

Himself, ps particularly his whole body. I was gonna say his legs, but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."

I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!

What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?

dribbling.

What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?

"What's up?"

How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?

The wheelchair floats to the top.

There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.

Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.

Why do you make fun of disabled people?

They can't stand up for themselves.

Stephen Hawking didn’t die.

His charger broke.

Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁

I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.

What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.

What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.

A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"

Blind guy says, "Just looking around."