Disability jokes
What’s the hardest part of the vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
He couldn’t climb the stairway.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?
Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
What do you call the girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.