Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?
A: A wheelchair.
Disability Jokes
I have no legs.
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
Why did Stephen Hawking walk across the road? Oh wait...
What do you call a dog with 2 legs?
It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.
Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?
Vegetable soup.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
Did you ever walk into Stephen Hawking's house?
Answer: No, neither did he.
"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...
What's a zig zag and made of wood?
Stephen's coffin.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What do blind people take for granted? Sight.
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
