Disability jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards." It is not cool.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.