Disability jokes
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Stephen Hawking's death was completely accidental.
He pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep".
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
What was the one test Stephen Hawking couldn't pass? The beep test.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
What do [you] call Tyler Brown?
A spaz.
Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?
A: A wheelchair.
I have no legs.
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
Why did Stephen Hawking walk across the road? Oh wait...
What do you call a dog with 2 legs?
It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.
Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?
Vegetable soup.