Disability jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because there was a power cut.
Have you ever walked past Steven Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.
Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you could read her lips.
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards." It is not cool.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.