Disability jokes
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
Where does a girl with one leg work?
IHOP.
Where do people with no legs go to have fun?
Legnoland.
What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
Eating the wheelchair.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
I can’t stand disabled jokes...
Neither can they 😂
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.