Difference jokes
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?
Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
A straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-do!"
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do!"
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?
I don't know... I'm from China.
What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?
..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.
White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"
The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."
1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"