What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?
People actually want stuff in a supermarket.
What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?
One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!
What is the difference between a redhead and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist!
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.