Difference jokes

They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.

What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?

Catholics are registered sex offenders.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?

I would never put a canoe in my garage.

What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?

Nothing.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?

Tiger Woods had a good driver.

What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?

What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?

That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.

I tore up my homework, but then I replaced it with this copy. It may look like it, but trust me, it's different! The answers ARE RIGHT, better than left!

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?

A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.

What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

Apples get picked.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.

What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?

I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.

Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?

Only the wife was hung up.

A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.