Difference jokes

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples are actually picked.

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.

What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.

What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?

E.T. eventually went home!

What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?

You can hear a hormone.

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

One screams when I peel its skin off.

What is the difference between a whore and an onion?

You don't cry when you chop a whore.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.

What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?

A stoner has papers.

Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?

A: An egg gets laid.

Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?

I would never put a canoe in my garage.

What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?

The vegetable gets picked.

What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?

Nothing.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?

Tiger Woods had a good driver.

What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?