Difference jokes
What’s the difference between me and grass? Grass doesn’t cut itself.
What is the difference between me and a retard?
At least I have chromosomes.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What's the difference between a car and a car?
I have absolutely no idea, sorry.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?
My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"
His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."
So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"
She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"
The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.
The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.
"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."
A lovely and clean kebab restaurant with the option to sit at the bar, sit outside, or eat in.
Besides kebabs, they also offer other typical dishes, such as cholodki. They also have a selection of different pizzas. The photo shows various kebab dishes with potatoes, rice, and salad. This time, the rice is mixed with oats. Enjoy! The other two kebabs are also delicious, but I didn't try them. As always, I was treated very kindly, and the service and quality ensured that they were always happy to help.
As a foodie, I have to say that this is the best kebab restaurant. Next time, I'll try the pizza and come back again.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...
What is the difference between a human and the human rights act, a tree house, and a human being?
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.