Difference jokes

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.

What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?

E.T. eventually went home!

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?

Snowballs.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

One screams when I peel its skin off.

What is the difference between a whore and an onion?

You don't cry when you chop a whore.

What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?

You can hear a hormone.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.

What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?

A stoner has papers.

Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?

A: An egg gets laid.

Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.

What is the difference between the government and organized crime?

Only one of them is organized.

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.

What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?

The vegetable gets picked.

What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?

Catholics are registered sex offenders.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.

What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?

That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.