Difference jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
One gets picked.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?
Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.
A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A stoner has papers.
What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What is the difference between Drake and Carrie Underwood?
Carrie Underwood kissed a 12-year-old boy on the lips.