Difference jokes
What is the difference between a redhead and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist!
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog? What is a human.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.
What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?
Candy is something everybody wants.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
What is the difference between an orphan and a snake?
A snake has a home to go to underground.
What’s the difference between a cat and a dog? It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.
A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery.
boss: "We have to let you go."
surgeon: "I protest innocence."
boss: "How?"
surgeon: "I thought doing your job and saving people's lives were two different things."
boss: "Get out!"
What is, tyyyyyy a tree is it is the difference between a?
What is the difference between white people and Africans? The white people watch "The Hunger Games," the Africans live it.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?
Meatballs.