Difference jokes

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?

Nothing. They are both just memories.

What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?

Jesus got pegged against a cross.

What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?

Stuart Little got chosen!

You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?

He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.

The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.

What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, they both fell.

What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?

A flower gets picked.

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

What’s the difference between a job and a wife?

The job keeps sucking after 5 years.

What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.

What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.

What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?

One is used.

What’s the difference between a Black dad and a Pizza?

One can feed a family.

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.

Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?

A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.

What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

What's the difference between a drill and a priest?

Nothing, they both like screwing stuff!

What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an African baby?

A pair of jeans only has 1 fly.

What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.