Difference jokes

What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...

What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?

One was planned.

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

What is the difference between the government and organized crime?

Only one of them is organized.

What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?

One has more channels.

What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?

One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.

What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?

Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.

What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?

In the U.K., it's a swear word.

In America, it's a family reunion.

👱‍♀️ 👱‍♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?

A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.

What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?

One of them is an outside job.

What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

They both like lil' boys.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.

What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?

One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.

What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?

The vegetable gets picked.

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?

My clothes don't hang themselves.

Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"

Friend: "I don't know."

Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.