Difference jokes
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?
The condom was actually useful at one point.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel actually has family.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
What's white on top and black on the bottom? Society.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have another pair of balls.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.