Difference jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and a toy?
One is played with.
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?
I actually come back with the milk.
Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apples get picked! 🤪
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an African baby?
A pair of jeans only has 1 fly.
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
What's the difference between Autism and Gender?
Autism is on a spectrum.
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
What's the difference between being gay and straight? Well, it is the hole.
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I don’t turn on a light switch.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.