Difference jokes
What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
What is the difference between men and women?
Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
👱♀️ 👱♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?
A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.
What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?
Not much difference.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
What is the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Some smile, others beam.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.
What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?
A fetus has more rights.
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.