Difference jokes
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What's the difference between a crumbled man and 9/11... nothing, they're both crumbled.
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
What's the difference between your mum and the Twin Towers?
I would smash the Twin Towers.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?
A book has papers.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.