What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?
They’re both alone, but only one is home.
Difference Jokes
Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?
The bench can support its family.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
What's the difference between the Christ and Anti-Christ? The Romans put sugar syrup on the second one.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
