Difference jokes
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
What’s the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 😞🎂
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
What is the difference between a tree and a school?
A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.
What’s the difference between a mediocre thief and professional thief?
The mediocre thief will say “give me all your money!”
And a professional thief will say “sign here please.”
Your face.
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog? What is a human.
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What's the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can chop down a tree.
A tree can't chop down a human.
What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
What time is it when you get mad 😡 at school? Time to calm down.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
When did “yo” mean Hello?
They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."