Difference jokes
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf...s ain't gonna believe this sh.."
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
What is different about priests and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?
One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
What’s the difference between a cat and a dog?
It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.
What’s the difference between bossatron5678 and a gay man?
One isn’t retarded, and one isn’t gay; the gay man is dead.
What’s the difference from me and a gay person? You.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.