Difference jokes
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
What do girls have that boys don’t have? Bobbies.
What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot is real.
What is the difference between the snow ❄️ and sun 🌞? Snow is slippery, and the other kind 🧒 of weather is not slippery.
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
What’s the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 😞🎂
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
What is the difference between a tree and a school?
A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.
What’s the difference between a mediocre thief and professional thief?
The mediocre thief will say “give me all your money!”
And a professional thief will say “sign here please.”
Your face.
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog? What is a human.
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What's the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can chop down a tree.
A tree can't chop down a human.
What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
What time is it when you get mad 😡 at school? Time to calm down.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.