Die jokes

What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?

Billy's jeans.

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.

The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.

Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.

Why did the moderator of worstjokesever.com die?

He had a heart attack because he was a fat loser.

How did the lesbian die? Homicide.

If you like this post, you will die!!!! Don’t do it 👿😅😎

What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?

Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!

What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?

The steering wheel.

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.

"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."

"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."

Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.

Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his wife changed the Wi-Fi password.

You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.

Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.

Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.

Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f

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