Die jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of WiFi.
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To die on the other side.
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
If Red gets voted out, what happened?
Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"
Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"
Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"
Lime, Green, and Purple run.
Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.
Black killed Red. Black is the win.
LOL
3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."
A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.
The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"
He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."
They eat them, jump off, and die.
He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"
Why did Technoblade die?
Because God wished him dead for all the orphans he made fun of.
How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?
She died.
What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the Wi-Fi password.
Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
Why did the roach talk to the man? To die.
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"