Die jokes
Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
Aj died in a bar.
The end.
Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
My mom died.
Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
I’m going to be scared of diesel.
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
If Trump pooped in a toilet, the toilet would die.