Die jokes
Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.
Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."
Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."
You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.
Me die.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
Memes
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!
Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
Die you potato.
I baked you a pie.
Oh boy, which flavor?
Pie Pie Pie Pie.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Why did you name this way?
Why Why Why?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
This is how to die soft 101.
Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?
Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?
They don't have parents to protect them.
I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
"Hey, Prince, I want to say, "Don't die, I love you!"
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.