Die jokes
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
Memes
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
"Hey, Prince, I want to say, "Don't die, I love you!"
Die you potato.
I baked you a pie.
Oh boy, which flavor?
Pie Pie Pie Pie.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Why did you name this way?
Why Why Why?
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
Me die.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.